Today is my sister's birthday. She's 20 years old. Since she still lives at home, M and I went to my parents yesterday to celebrate her birthday. I spoke to my stepmom on the phone the day before and asked if we'd just be having cake... oh, no, we'd be eating, too. Munchies. Because that's what J (my sister) wanted. Munchies? What does that involve? Well, pizza rolls, poppers (breaded jalapeno peppers with cheese sauce), mac and cheese, several kinds of chicken wings, buffalo chicken tenders, cheese and crackers, spinach dip, taco dip and chips... and well, you get the point. My stepmom also mentioned that this didn't even cover everything J wanted. J made her a list of everything she wanted, but this only included half of it.
Oh and of course we had cake. I couldn't even finish mine. I ate half... because the pieces were huge and the chocolate fudge frosting, while good, was very, very sweet. But hey, as my stepmom said, that's what J wanted!!
I was disgusted.
Here's where I should mention that my sister has quite a weight problem. It would be rude for me to try to guess her weight, but just to put things into perspective, at my highest weight ever, I was 227, and my sister is much, much bigger than that. I am 5'7'' and she is also a couple of inches taller than me. Did I mention she is only 20 years old?! THIS is why I am disgusted. I still have weight to lose, I know. But a year and half ago when I stepped on the scale and saw 227, that was it for me. I will never see that number again. And I did something about it. J was gaining weight at that time and my sister in law and I joined a boot camp and tried to get J to do it with us. She wouldn't... because she didn't want people yelling at her. Of course, it was not fun at all, but I lost 25 lbs in no time. I have lost more since then, but the initial 25 lbs came off fast. It was hard work though and that's something J wants to avoid. J is also in denial. Recently, she told our sister in law that she has a big butt. Our sister in law is about 5'3'' and weighs about 125 lbs. J also thinks it's funny to make fun of people with weight problems... the pot calling the kettle black. This is coming from a girl who thinks it's fine to eat Chipotle almost every day.
My parents are overweight as well. My stepmom just found out she is boderline diabetic. Growing up, it was not like this. While no one in my family has ever been small, until recently, there haven't been any major weight issues (I gained most of my weight my last year of college). We always ate pretty healthy growing up and it's just shocking to see the eating habits of my sister and my parents whenever I go to their house. In particular, I am completely surprised at my dad's lack of interest in losing weight. He was off work for a period of time a few years ago due to some health issues and that is when he gained all of his weight. Up until then, he was never overweight. I know he cannot possibly be comfortable with his current weight.
Over the past year, my oldest brother, sister in law, and I have tried several different things... talking to my parents and sister... sharing recipes... trying to get my sister to join boot camp with us... I even joined the YMCA with my stepmom. All they leave us with are excuses. And the three of them just enable each other. It's incredibly frustrating. And sad. Has anyone else had similar issues with family members?
I have a similar situation, Im trying to make changes (slowly but surely) and Im trying to make healthier choices. My mom is overweight and knows and says she wants to lose it but she seems like she tries to sabotage my efforts. Things like, "lets go get this or this" "come on rach, you're never home, lets get ice cream". I dont want to ditch out or anything but once I start eating bad it goes down hill. So frustrating. Im trying to make changes but it doesnt help when people dont understand!
ReplyDeleteI have a similar problem with my dad and physiotherapy, he's not overweight but he is poorly and needs to do exercises to get his body strong again, but he just stays in bed all day every day. He's not bed bound he's just depressed and unmotivated, but trying to get him up and motivated seems almost impossible. The problem is, if people dont want to do something about their situation you can talk and shout till your blue in the face but in the end its they themselves that have to make that choice to do something. No matter how much it might infuriate or upset you that you can clearly see the damage they are doing to themselves.
ReplyDeleteThat is frustrating. My parents were always very overweight and I grew up motivated only by more food. At my biggest I was at 330. When I started working out I was at 303 - now I am at 245. I have a long way to go but I have motivation now like I've never had before. I haven't told anyone in my family except 1 sister and she asked for help losing weight too - she wants to lose between 30 and 40 lbs. I agree with Sammy. I've found the best way to approach the situation is to let them come to you. They've got to want to make the change - trying to convince them to make it is like moving mountains. I hope they will see your progress and get inspired.
ReplyDeleteI feel bad for your sister, basically shes prolonging the day where she does wake up and decide that she does need to take action, but how far does it have to go? Does she have to have diabetes in order to get it under control, does she have to be in her 50s, does she have to wait until she hits rock bottom or does she have to wait for that moment life gives her the push and changes everything?
ReplyDeleteAt least you are leading by example. I never had anyone to lead me by example, just to do certain things while they did not. All you can do is take care of yourself for now and youre doing a GREAT job at that :)