Big News

I don't even know where to start...

Remember this?  Yeah, well you know what they say... if you want to hear God laugh, tell him your plans.  M and I are expecting.  Shocked?  We were too!!  I took 5 tests because I couldn't believe it.  We are still in shock, but we are happy too.

We found out at the end of May.  I started crying when the test came up positive.  Not because I was thinking any negative thoughts... just because I was shocked and crying was all I could do.  I never thought I would be excited about something like this, but I am.  One thing is for sure, finding out I am pregnant has changed me.  It's like a switch was flipped and since that moment everything I do or don't do is because of this life growing inside of me.

I couldn't get in to see the doctor for 2 weeks and the day before my appointment we had a scare.  When I woke up bleeding and cramping, I was sure something was very wrong.  We headed straight to the ER.  They determined I did not have a miscarriage and drew blood.  If my beta levels were high enough they were going to do an ultrasound.  Sure enough, they were.  When the doctor did the ultrasound, they found a sac, but no baby.  He sounded optimistic, saying that it could just be too early.  My doctor's office didn't seem so confident, instead the midwife explained that with my beta levels being as high as they were, we should really be seeing something.  But, we went ahead and scheduled another ultrasound for a week later.  That week of waiting was the worst of my life.  As much as I tried to hope for the best, I felt like I also had to prepare for the worst.  It was awful.

The day of the second ultrasound, they found the baby and I saw the heart beat right away.  M and I both started crying.  I have never felt so relieved.  This past Thursday we were able to hear the baby's heartbeat.  Amazing.

We have received so much support and I'm very grateful.  This baby is already surrounded by so much love.

So... I'm 11 weeks tomorrow.  It's been a whirlwind, that's for sure.