Finding Happy

This is what I'm working on now. Finding happy.

When I was younger and more naive, I thought I had it all figured out. After college, I would find my dream job (probably working as a police officer, trying to get into the detective bureau at whichever department I ended up working), getting married and having kids. That was going to be my happy, and it was all going to work out as planned. I guess I didn't figure I'd really have to work at it a whole lot... happy would just happen.

Except it didn't.

I did, in fact, go to the police academy after I graduated college. But I quickly realized being a police officer was not for me. Not even close. It was a pretty stressful time. I had no idea where I was going to go from there. While working full time and going to the academy full time, my then boyfriend proposed and we decided to start planning our wedding once I was done with the police academy.

Then.... I found out about several secrets my fiance was keeping. Secrets... lies... that were major deal breakers. This was two weeks before we were to move in together. We had already signed the lease. I broke off the engagement and called my dad crying so hard that he could barely understand me while I was trying to ask him to help me get out of the lease.

This was definitely not the happy I planned on. Looking back these were minor bumps in the road, but obviously at the time, were devastating. I decided I wasn't going to date anyone for at least a year. I needed to work on myself. I spent much time with friends and family... especially with my nieces. I loved every minute of it. I also needed to figure out what I was going to do with my life.

My manager at the time suggested I look at a career in supply management. So I did. I interviewed for a purchasing position that happened to be open at my company, got the promotion, and loved every minute of it.

A couple of months later, I met M. It was complicated at first. There's an age difference between us and that was somewhat of a concern, but we quickly found out that we are like two peas in a pod and compliment each other beautifully. I just knew we were meant to be together.

A year later M and I got engaged, then married and I was still loving my job. I was finally finding my happy.

While I was busy being happy with M and planning our wedding... without going into too much detail... I started hating my job. I still enjoy working in the supply management field, it's just that I'm not getting anywhere in my current department. It really started putting me in a BAD mood and I would instantly be pissed when I walked into work. I had to give myself pep talks on a regular basis.

I'm still not happy with my job and I'm searching. But I also realize that I need to make the best of it for now. I can't ignore it and just keep on with the way it has been going, but I also can't let myself be so upset about it. I need to continue learning so I can be more prepared if an opportunity comes my way.

If there's anything I've learned, it's that life happens. People change, you change... you make choices that you thought would make you happy, but as it turns out, was not what you expected or wanted. It's very naive to think you can make the right decisions and everything will turn out perfectly, the way you plan. Even when you are smart and careful with your decisions, it doesn't always work out. You have to learn to take things as they come and enjoy the experiences as they happen. While happy should be the end result, it's also a journey. And it always takes work. Nothing worthwhile ever comes easy.

Having a bad attitude never gets you anywhere. So I'm working on finding happy every day, even when I don't feel like it.

Keep Calm And Carry On

Wow. Has it really been more than a month since my last blog post? It is probably due to the fact that I have been in a PISSY mood lately. I have been reading your blogs... just not commenting. Sorry.

I'm sick of my job. Let's be honest, I'm getting no where in my current situation and have been feeling taken advantage of for a while. I reached my breaking point after talking to my boss about my raise/bonus (or should I say... lack of...). I am currently on the job hunt (and being aggressive about it, too). I have resorted to giving myself pep talks on Sunday nights just to give myself enough motivation to get up Monday morning and starting another week at work. And believe me, it's TOUGH.

I'm sick of being asked about when I am having a baby. For one, I have only been married for about 7 months, so are you kidding me? Second, if I am being totally honest... the answer is maybe never. The more M and I discuss it, the more we are leaning toward jumping on the no baby train. And I don't feel bad about it.

I'm sick of the rain and the constant lingering sinus headache that goes along with it.

I'm sick of family drama and I refuse to be a part of it any longer.

I'm sick of having to work so hard in the gym just to maintain my weight. But I know if I were to stop working so hard at it, it would turn into a disaster.

BUT - starting now, I am making myself have a more positive attitude. Because being negative isn't normally my thing and it's wearing me out. I am choosing to focus on all of the positives in my life. Because regardless of the things going wrong right now... there are a lot going of things going right.

Thanks for letting me get that out. I just need to keep telling myself to keep calm and carry on.

March Madness

No, this isn't about basketball.



I am participating in Brittney's March Madness this month. Spring is almost here and I need to start being held accountable.

My goals for March include:

1. Successfully complete the Advocare 24 day challenge (which, by the way, is going better this time around... except for the no coffee part).

2. Work out 4x per week... both cardio and weight training. I have been doing well with 3x per week, but now it's time to add another day.

3. Track my calories over at www.sparkpeople.com.

4. Lose 5 lbs this month.

What are your fitness goals?

Here We Go Again

Last year around this time I did the Advocare 24 day challenge. I dropped a little weight and lost a ton of inches. And I just felt better. It's a full body cleanse.

I recently talked M into doing it. Here is where I should mention that M is pretty much all muscle. He has done a great job sculpting his body. His only problem area is the little bit of a gut he has that he has been wanting to get rid of. Since M eats pretty healthy anyway, I think he is going to do a great job with the challenge and will drop the gut in no time at all. I agreed to do challenge with him. M is pretty stubborn when it comes to working out and the supplements he takes. He has been doing this for a long time and he sticks with what he knows works. Talking him into doing the challenge was no easy task. We recently went to an Advocare mixer that my brother had at his house and M agreed to sign up for the challenge if I would do it with him. This works out because I have been doing a great job with working out and I'm not see too many results. I think the challenge will help kick start my metabolism and get me on my way to losing my last 12 or so lbs.

I was introduced to Advocare by my brother who is now and Advocare advisor. He is serious about making a business out of this and he has me hooked. I have used several products since doing my first 24 day challenge and have all the faith in the world that this really works. Two of my favorites are Catalyst and Slam. I also recently started using their brand new product, LeptiLean. I'm liking it so far.

Drew Brees is the national spokesman for Advocare... I believe he endorses it for free. That never happens.

Valentine's Day Surprise And Getting Fit

I received a surprise in the mail last Saturday...

Heather participated in Melissa's Valentine's Day swap and sent me these goodies. An amazon gift card (so I can buy books for my Kindle... yes!), Burt's Bee's pomegranate oil lip balm (yum!), and a card she made herself for me to pass on (love!). It's adorable and I wish I had the talent to get crafty. Thanks so much Heather!! But... I'm not sure where your blog is. PLEASE email me or leave me a comment.

M and I agreed not to do gifts for each other for Valentine's Day. We had plans to go out for Mexican and I was happy with that! But, M surprised me and got me some charms for my bracelet (up until now, I only had one charm, so I never wore it). He bought me an I love you charm, and a cat and a dog charm. I love this... we have 2 cats and a dog, so it's like our little family on my bracelet. I am a lucky girl.

Next, let's talk about getting on the fit train. I'm not doing so hot... at all. I am participating in the 12 week challenge at our gym. I do love it. The workouts are HARD. There's cardio, HIT training and some weight training. The problem is, we are in week 5 and I have not lost a single pound.

I have also been following the weight watchers plan and tracking my points... kind of. I do great at this during the week, but on the weekends, not so much. Obviously, I need do better with that.

I think I just need to add in more cardio. I lost 30 lbs last year by running, so it is becoming more apparent that I need to add that back into the routine. I am also looking to sign up for a few 5K's, so that should help motivate me.

How do you motivate yourself to exercise? What are your favorite WW friendly recipes?